Call for help

  • Kids Help Phone

    1 800 668 6868

    Call toll free to talk about anything that is bothering you. Kids Help Phone is confidential, and open 24 hours a day.

  • Youth Against Violence

    1 800 680 4264

    A 24 hour, province-wide youth help line offering one-on-one support and information to help deal with violence or crime.

  • The Crisis Centre

    604 951 8855

    In Surrey, call if you feel upset or confused, or you just want to talk to someone. The Crisis Centre is open 24 hours a day.

  • Ministry of Children and Child Development Helpline for Children

    310 1234

    Call to report an incident of child abuse. It's available 24 hours a day.

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Relationships

Relationships are close connections between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow from and are strengthened by mutual experiences.

What is a healthy relationship?

Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect, and open communication between partners, and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other's independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions.

  • Signs of Healthy Relationship

    • Safe
    • Kind
    • Patient
    • Dependable
    • Fun
    • Generous
    • Loyal
    • Honest
    • Trusting

  • Your Relationship Rights

    • Make sure you have a positive relationship with yourself!
    • Accept and celebrate that we are all different.
    • Actively listen to hear what people have to say.
    • Give people time and be “present” when you are with them.
    • Develop and work on your communication skills.
    • Learn to be understanding and empathetic.

  • Maintaining Healthy Relationships

    • To express my opinion and have it heard.
    • To change my mind.
    • To choose if and when I want to have sex or fool around.
    • To use safe practices.
    • Not to be emotionally, physically, or sexually abused.
    • To choose to stop having sex or fooling around anytime, even during.
    • To choose my friends or partners.
    • To end a relationship without fear of negative repercussions.

What is an unhealthy relationship?

    • Lying and Minimizing
    • Isolating
      Arguments started with family and friends.
    • Assault and Abuse
    • Threatening
      Including threats if you leave.
    • Demanding
      Want you to be available all of the time.
    • Possessive
      Lacking of trust.
    • Jealous
    • Unpredictable
      Affectionate one minute and distant the next.
    • Full of games
      Playing the victim, looking for pity, threatening suicide.

Dating Violence

Intentional use of abuse (physical, sexual, verbal or emotional), by one person in the relationship to harm, threaten, intimidate and/or control the other person.

10 Warning Signs of Abuse

  1. Checking your phone or email without permission
  2. Constantly putting you down
  3. Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  4. Explosive temper
  5. Isolating you from your family or friends
  6. Making false accusations
  7. Mood swings
  8. Physically hurting you in any way
  9. Possessiveness
  10. Telling you what to do

Why do people stay in abusive relationships?

  • Fear

    Afraid to leave.
    Threats of harm to self, pets, family etc.

  • Hope for Change

    Thinking things can change – it’s just a phase.

  • Low Self-Esteem

    Believing abuse is their fault/they deserve it.

  • Love

    Relationship is not entirely bad...
    “I really love them when things are good”

Sexual Assault

When someone forces ANY sexual activity on you WITHOUT your consent. This includes sexual touching, threats to get sex and getting you drunk or high to have sex.

  • Consent

    • VOLUNTARY agreement to engage in sexual activity. No one can touch you sexually unless you are capable (sober and clear headed) to consent.

  • Age of Consent

    • Age of consent for sexual activity = 16
    • Age 14 /15 – can consent to sex with someone LESS than 5 years older.
    • If you are 16 and have had sex with someone older than the max age limit, they are in trouble, not you.
    • If you are under 18, you can’t have a sexual relationship with someone in a position of power.

Sexting

When you share a naked or “sexually explicit” image of yourself, primarily between mobile phones. Intimate Image (by law) shows a person exposing their breasts, genitals or anal region or it depicts them engaging in explicit sexual activity. (not touching or kissing)

Risks of sexting

  1. If you take and/or share a naked or sexually explicit image of someone under 18 (including yourself), you can be charged with a child pornography offence under the Youth Criminal Justice Act.
  2. Easily shared widely, especially with social media.
  3. You have no control over what someone else does with your picture once they have it.
  4. Risk of severe depression/loss of control.
  5. Blackmail or revenge porn.

How can you help a friend?

    • Listen - Be supportive and patient.
    • Tell your friend that you are concerned for their safety.
    • Acknowledge that the abuse is NOT THEIR FAULT.
    • Do not judge or criticize.
    • Help with a safety plan to prevent future harm.
    • NEVER confront the abuser.
    • Encourage your friend to seek help.
    • Know your boundaries and abilities – know who the trusted adults are that you can go to for support.
    • Know your friend and take the approach that is most comfortable for you both.

Want to know more?

  • Kids Help Phone

    e-mental health services available 24/7 across Canada

    kidshelpphone.ca

  • Immediate Threat

    Call 911

  • Surrey RCMP Non-Emergency

    Call 604 599 0502

    bc-cb.rcmp-grc.gc.ca

  • Surrey Schools PSST

    Call 604 596 7733

    psst-bc.ca

  • Talk to someone you trust – adult, friend, family.

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